16. Keep your ears open.
“Not me but my brother: He works for a scientific instrument company as a technical expert in gas chromatography. He and his colleagues went to a trade show to show off their new instrument. A couple of German scientists come up, ask a bunch of questions, breaking the conversation intermittently to speak to each other in German. Little do they know, my brother is fluent in German. He lets them talk amongst themselves until one of the Germans says (in German) “I bet this one is just as sh*t as the last one.”
To which, my brother replies, in German, how it is not in fact sh*t because they’ve done a tremendous number of improvements. The two Germans, now stunned that they’ve been caught, politely thank my brother and apologize and walk away. The ultimate, “No, f*ck YOU” way to have handled that in my opinion.” –KaeTheGSP
17. Careful about who you challenge.
“My Uncle challenged Jack Nicklaus to a golf game in college, without a clue. The humiliation burns him to this day.” –MC_Glamour
18. Easy money.
“A local mall had a portable climbing wall with a “make it to the top and win $100” side. The route was actually pretty challenging. As I walked by the guy asked me if I’d like to try: “Nobody has made it to the top, you think you can do it buddy?” At the time I was ranked top 12 climber in my age group and kind of laughed to myself. After taking my $100 I then proceeded to call the rest of my climbing team and one by one they went to the mall and claimed their $100.” –CaptainWaders
19. Just trying to make some small talk about the weather.
“People say all kinds of random shit how weather and climate functions. I’m a meteorologist in disguise—work as a data scientist but has a Master’s and a PhD in meteorology. When I politely (and gently) inform them how things actually work, people are usually super interested to know more. But occasionally I got something like “Oh yeah?! And how do you know?” Well, I have published several papers on the matter, would love to discuss it all night. So far, they’ve all backed down after that.” –jmortin
20. Landlords deserve to be shamed.
“My landlord tried blaming me for damage to the kitchen cabinets but didnt know that im in construction and am very familiar with home building codes.
They placed the cabinets too close to the stove and the glue that held the laminate had melted.” –NickKnocks
21. Get good.
“For reference, this is clay pigeon shooting, kinda known as trap in the south. Well, I’m from a rural area and not exactly super “southern” so when I’d go to other trap fields to practice different conditions there’s always be a smartass or two try and place a bet with me. This is definetly an old money sport with some of the guns going upwards of 5,000 dollars. I had an old bt-100 that we got in a trade for lead shot and some cash on the side, while not cheap, it was still much “lower” than other peoples guns and people would take that as me being a newbie.
They’d learn pretty quick though, since the team I was one went to the Nationals almost every year from 11 to 18. It was always funny because some would be good sports but others would throw an absolute fit. I saw a guy damage a 10,000 Perazzi because someone else beat him before. Even funnier part is there was a guy from the county next to us who could blow us out of the water and he always shot with an 870 pump from Walmart.” –Glickington
22. The king of the nerds.
“Camped out for tickets to The Phantom Menace. Guy in a group behind me challenged everyone to Star Wars Trivial Pursuit for money. It got to my first turn and I ran the board and won without anyone else getting to go. I felt bad so I didn’t even take his money. He still accused me of having memorized the cards to cheat. Nope, just seen the original trilogy dozens of times all my life.” –BlameMyMuse
23. I’m jealous of this guy.
“Chess. I’m a Chess master. I think when people hear that they’re like ‘oh he’s really good at chess’, but what it means is that I’ve played in international tournaments and beaten other masters and some governing body has given me a title.
Anyway, I get challenged a lot by friends who think they’re pretty good. What they don’t realize is that your average ‘pretty good’ player is getting destroyed by your average tournament player. And your average tournament player is getting destroyed by a master.” –MapleDanish
24. I’ll believe it when I see it.
“We had a golf work outing and [a friend] challenged me at golf. Now I’ve played golf my whole life, I also played in high school and have played at public courses every year since. He did not know this. The first hole, he gets to witness a 200 yard drive down the middle, he tries to play it off like I got lucky but no, every hole after that was the same. He drank a lot after the first couple holes. He, to this day, refuses to say I won because we didn’t keep a scorecard.” –andereerenuth
25. Relax, bro.
“In junior high I got challenged at floor hockey by this douche who was good a literally every sport. He was a massive dick and would make fun of me. I sucked at most sports and was not particularly fast, but I played ice hockey growing up and would spend hours on our local basketball court practicing my stick handling. I dusted his ass. I scored a natural hat trick on him. He shut up after that and stopped making fun of me.” –Whowhatwherewhenwhy6
26. What’s a little money among friends.
“While not a pro, I’m pretty darn good at poker. The church I was at had a Poker night and I was just going to watch. They insisted I join the 25 cent game.
Came home with $200 and they decided to never have a poker night again.” –IamAWorldChampionAMA
27. Thank you, but I’m all set.
“Some guy tried to hit on me by drawing me within a minute… While I was with my now-husband/then-boyfriend and best friend. We indulged him, I asked if I could do one in return and blew his out of the water. Then I introduced my boyfriend.
He bowed out gracefully and we laughed and I was incredibly flattered. Really creative way to hit on someone and I think we ended up buying him a beer.” –Zombombaby
28. One day, you’ll get your wish.
“Still waiting to say the words I’ve been preparing for all my life:
‘YOU want to play Dr Mario with ME? You absolute fool.'” –iHateRBF