Being an adult is hard. You have to find a balance between working out your feelings with food and working your feelings out with drugs and alcohol. Those are really the only two options. Some people, however, whether they’re devoted to clean living or not, are going to have trouble as adults no matter what. Truthfully, it’s the fault of parents and teachers. Eventually, though, if you’re over 25, it’s your fault for not knowing how to do the basics of “adulting.”
Listen, I hate the word “adulting” also, but the viral Reddit thread in question here used the word, and intelligent people responded with stories of people who are less so. Frankly, you can use the word adulting all you want if you know how to fold a fitted sheet. You have my utmost support. You did it. You are an adult.
The people featured in these stories, however, have a lot of work to do before they should be allowed to rent a car or own a gun or have a kid. That’s because these are stories of things you should already know how to do as an adult.
Here are the best responses to the question “What’s the most horrifying “how do you not know how to do this?” moment you’ve experienced with another person whilst adulting?”
1. The wrong oil.
“A girl I knew in college. Her dad called once to remind her that every so often she needed to put oil in her truck. She did. Then her truck started smelling like french fries and then died. Even after trying to explain it, she couldn’t understand that this was directly related to the quart of vegetable oil she put in the motor.” –snowman818
2. The joys of homeownership.
“When my friend bought a house a month into home ownership she asked me, very pissed off, when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it’s starting to look like weeds .
It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone.” –theantpantsdance
3. Mission accomplished.
“I had to jump a friends car that wouldn’t start. It had a hard time but I finally got it running. She immediately turns off the car and says, “thanks so much I’ll call you later!” –foundinthewild1
4. What’s the over-under that this kid is vaccinated?
“I had a relative try to put her son on the school bus his first day if kindergarten and got upset when the driver refused to let him on because he wasnt on the list.
She never registered him for school and just thought she could put him on the bus and send him.” –whotiesyourshoes
5. The roommate from Hell.
“Had to ask my roommate to please wash his hands after touching raw chicken. He was cool to just…go about his day before I asked. He thought I was being a wacko neat freak.
Same guy also thought his sheets wouldn’t fit in the washing machine so he just…never washed them.
When I asked him please not drop silverware down the garbage disposal and leave it he said I had too many house rules.” –GotGhostsInMyBlood
6. When the boss is computer savvy.
“I had to teach my boss how to “go down to the next line” by hitting Enter on his computer keyboard.” –Kcups
7. When you find out how time works.
“I work graveyard shift and I had to explain to a coworker that at midnight, 12:00 am/0000 hours, it is the start of a new day. She then had an anxiety attack because I was telling her that “today is not Monday anymore, today is Tuesday now.” –gummygoob
8. I guess this is why that friendship ended.
“My ex best friend had told me that she had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, the 3rd that month. I asked her what was wrong with it and she said “It’s not picking things up anymore!” So I asked if she had dumped out the container… she didn’t know that was a thing.” –Winterlight8044
9. Father knows best.
“For as long as I can remember, my father had red eyes after showering. I didn’t even think about it. One day as a teenager a friend slept over and in the morning she saw my dad dressed and ready for work, freshly showered, red-eyed. She asked him why his eyes were red and he simply said “shampoo.” She then very carefully and as respectfully as she could muster asked him why he didn’t close his eyes, and he laughed and said “what do you think, I’m an idiot? Closing my eyes in the shower! Sheesh!” –katartsis
10. Why is it called that, then??
“I had a friend who I noticed took Mucinex A LOT. I’ve used it occasionally, when I’ve been congested, but it seemed abnormal how often I saw him taking it. I finally asked him why he was taking it one time, because he didn’t seem sick at all, and he looked puzzled and said “well, I think I’m getting sick”. I pressed further and he said “because it’s an expectorant”. It turns out he thought “you take an expectorant when you are EXPECTING to get sick.” –AnotherLizLemon
11. Sadly, no one loved this person as a child.
“I had to teach my friend how to tie his shoes, he either wore velcro or tucked the laces into the shoe up until that point.” –Camelllama666
12. There’s more than one way to cook a bean.
“I had a roommate at university who’s “cooking” method was put baked beans in a Tupperware, seal the lid, turn on microwave, when lid pops and explodes beans everywhere they’re cooked.” –Thejustinset
13. How did she not notice?
“One of roommates in college would go though plastic spatulas like crazy. She’d melt them and wouldn’t say anything about it. She’d only tell me when I’d go to use it and wonder why it was messed up. She’d always say it was due to the spatula being made of cheap plastic. No. I finally caught her one day. She’d be cooking something and would walk away LEAVING THE PLASTIC SPATULA IN THE PAN WHILE IT WAS STILL ON!” –Fantastic_Relief
14. Well… how do you do that?
“My wonderful, selfless, beautiful younger brother asked me how to make ice last year. He’s 24.” –Cat_Vonnegut
15. The man is in the zone.
“This is like 10 years ago. I was dating a 32 year old and he asked me if I wanted to get together to watch a TV show. I said sure, what time is it on. He looks it up and says to me “8 Pacific 9 Central…?”
I asked what was confusing him and he told me he wasn’t sure if the show was on at 8 or 9. My man did not know what timezone we lived in.
So I was like “Ok, well you know what ocean we’re near, right?” cuz I was trying to get him to think about the Pacific timezone in terms of the giant body of water for which it was named and he immediately got defensive and for real said “Why would I know that? I’m from Texas.”
He’d been living in San Francisco for 5 years and could see the Pacific Ocean out his window.” –almostdidbutdidnt
16. The electric kettle.
“Years ago, I bought a friend an electric kettle as a gift. Her boyfriend (who I’m still friends with and who passed along this story) came home one night to find her running out the front door of their apartment with the flaming kettle, and she threw it into the street.
She was screaming about how it was a piece of junk because when she put it on the stove, over a flame, it caught fire and started to melt.
He was laughing uncontrollably when he asked, “what did you think the cord was for?”
They broke up soon after.” –ilikeyourswatch
17. Seems logical.
“Not sure if this counts but when I took a food-safe course someone asked if they could wash a turkey with dish soap.
He failed the course.” –SaltyJerm
18. If at first, you don’t succeed…
“Every few weeks I catch my roommate trying to put his metal tea strainer in the microwave.
This is in spite of the fact that our first week living in this apartment, he destroyed the microwave and had to pay for a new one because he put a metal tea strainer in the microwave.” –MeesterPepper
19. That will just make them wet!
“My wife’s entire family not grasping that you need to put water in a steam iron.” –hadleybox
20. What bills?
“A friend who was pushing 40 had never paid a bill before. She had gone from living with her parents to living in a dorm to living with her parents again until she got married, then she got divorced and was living on her own for the first time. Got a text from her asking if my power was out too, then she realized it was just her. Her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were “receipts” and that the cost was included in her rent.
Her water was cut off a couple weeks later and we had to talk about that, too.” –ReddishWedding2018
21. This person needs help.
“Our kitchen sink has one tap, two things (don’t know what they’re actually called) for hot and cold. I walked into the kitchen and my partner kept switching between hot and cold. Asked him why…. ” Well the hot gets too hot so I run the cold instead for a bit” HE DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD RUN THE HOT AND COLD WATER AT THE SAME TIME!?!?” –behindthesmiles-
22. There are two steps.
“Someone told me that their husband would put shampoo in their hair and not rinse after applying. The husband for his entire life wondered why his hair was always greasy.” –TwistinFoolGames
23. I’m shocked he’s made it this far.
“I once had my exes parents coming over, and needed some help cleaning the house up to get ready for their arrival. I asked my ex to clean the bathroom for me whilst I cleaned the kitchen, and left him to it. I went in about a half an hour later and the bathroom was somehow dirtier, but the ex was sitting on the couch chilling. When I asked him why he hadn’t cleaned the bathroom, he looked at me all confused and said he had. I asked him to come in and pointed out all the soap scum everywhere and how it was clearly not clean. He reiterated that he’d cleaned it. I asked him to show me how.
He proceeded to pick up a bar of soap, lather up his hands real good, and just… rub everything. He didn’t even rinse it after. Just rubbed everything with soapy hands. And couldn’t understand why I was staring at him open mouthed.” –arual_x