I love my neighbors. I know this isn’t normal, especially not in New York City. But, nevertheless, I do. Nearly everyone in my building is kind. We watch sports together, we all met on the roof to watch fireworks, and we help each other when we need something. Most importantly, however, we all talk trash about the three surly neighbors we don’t like. Consequently, I don’t need the Nextdoor app. Frankly, I’m afraid I’ll check it and learn there are people complaining that our building is too cliquey. I don’t need that in my headspace.
Luckily, there are crazier people in the world than the folks who live near me. When they’re not busy doing weird stuff in their own homes, they’re actively telling on their neighbors in the Nextdoor app. According to Nextdoor’s website, the app was designed to help people: “Neighbors around the world turn to Nextdoor daily to receive trusted information, give and get help, and build real-world connections with those nearby — neighbors, businesses, and public services.” Unfortunately, the app is full of passive-aggressive complaints, gossip, and borderline illegal activities. How can we sift through all of that information?
Thankfully, the Twitter account @BestofNextdoor can show us how bad neighbors can get. Then, you can appreciate that weird guy on your block for not being totally strange.
Here are the funniest and most insane real posts found on the Nextdoor app:
1. When a neighbor tells you to stop, do the polite thing and stop.
2. Mine is “Take My Wifi.”
3. Actually a cool neighbor.
4. Clearly a cult.
5. I’ll take him – wait…
6. Medusa killed the pig.
7. Halloween is serious business.
8. It’s gonna be huge!
9. This person seems fun.
10. Support artists, please.
11. He brings up a good point.
12. Nothing scarier than this, honestly.
13. I’m terrified.
14. Hello, 9-1-1? I have a sandwich.
15. Very scary neighbor right here.
